all in a day's work...or two

I really wish I had a "before" pic of my yard prior to all the hard work that was put into it Sunday and Monday. You can't really appreciate the "after" pictures, without the "before," but oh well. It just didn't even cross my mind to document the awful site. Unfortunately, my yard is made up of about 70% weeds, 30% grass.  Which means when it gets overgrown, it looks like a total jungle.  I actually had asked Greg if he could mow the grass last Monday cause it was looking so awful.  Well, of course life threw us for a detour, so by the time we got around to doing yard work on Sunday, it was out of control.  I was embarrassed.  So, after a lovely morning at church, a bite to eat at Moe's, then a quick trip to Lowe's, Greg and I spent the next 4 hours tidying up my yard.  By the way, I LOVE Lowe's!!  Especially the garden center. Oh my goodness, I want a big beautiful garden so so bad.  However, we've got some poor drainage issues in the back yard to take care of first. See?...

That's a major project in the works.  

Anyways, back to our hard work.  I pulled TONS of weeds, Greg mowed the grass and edged, I planted some new flowers and a few saplings, trimmed the monkey grass that was creeping over the sidewalks, replaced a few bulbs in the sidewalk laterns, and then swept the heck out of the sidewalks and patio. Oh, one more thing!  I forgot to mention the compost bin I started!  A few leaves, old pine-straw, dirt, and worms, and it's cookin!  I'll have rich potting mulch in no time :)  I'll post more on that little project this weekend.  Ok, now for the "after" shots! I know my yard is far from glamorous, but slowly we'll get there. 

 View from the front. Well, part of the front.

 

New geraniums on the front steps.

 

Pansies by the mailbox

 

My little saplings out back. Hopefully these guys will grow good and tall, and be transplanted and used as privacy trees.

a thousand words

I wanted to post some pictures of last week, because despite the pain and sorrow and tears, there were some beautiful moments in it all.  In the midst of losing a loved one, we drew closer to family and friends who are still here with us.  I have some of the greatest friends in my life.  My girl friends came over and cooked me dinner last Wednesday night, and we just sat around the dinner table talking for a good hour.  It was good to spend time with them.  Some of my girl friends who couldn't be here with me sent flowers and kind words.  It was also a good time spent with my family, and even my future family.  Now that me and Katie are engaged, our future in-laws are counted as family.  Katie's in-laws came to dinner Thursday night after the service, and Greg was there by my side all week.  My future in-laws sent flowers to the service and called me to give their sympathies.  Then of course we had my aunts (my dad's sisters) and uncle in town from North Carolina, whom we haven't seen in many years.  Things get complicated when parents divorce, and although they will always be family, we haven't really seen them since my parents' split.  Family get-togethers kind of fall apart at that point.  So it was great seeing them again.  Luckily with 2 weddings coming up we should get to see them again soon.

So, like I said, in the midst of all the pain endured last week, I think these pictures will reflect some peaceful and joyful moments in it all.

we'll always be Graves girls

sorry Emily, it looked funny cropped. *Shoes optional*

Do you think my friends all know how much I like the color pink?  They are so great.

We buried my dad in Mississippi where his mother's family plot is.  My great grandfather was a small town doctor in the town of Eupora, MS.  So, in the family plot is my great grandfather Lamb, his wife, my grandmother (Mary Lamb), my grandpapa (Lowell Graves), and now my dad.  Since we decided to do a cremation, we were able to bury dad nestled right between his mother and grandmother.

Funny story:  the last time we were at this cemetery was for my grandpapa's funeral.  We get there last Friday and noticed someone had ordered a headstone.  Then we got to looking at the dates, and the birth and death dates are correct, EXCEPT the year.  Obviously, my dad's father was not born in 1824, nor did he die in 1905. He was born in 1924, and died in 2005.  We got a laugh out of it.  My aunt Elizabeth at one point said, "let me go stand over here next to my 181 year old father!"  It's nice to be able to laugh in rough times.

thoughts

 I originally had this written with my last post, but that post was getting unbelievably long, so I wanted to save this topic for its own moment of thought.  A lot of things have been hard this week, but the heaviest weight on my heart is not knowing where my father's soul rests.  My father's death happened exactly the way I knew it would.  Because he lived at home alone, and took such poor care of himself and shut himself off to most people, I feared he would one day be found dead in his home, and that's exactly what happened.  But I know he was miserable, and he had allowed his quality of life to wither away, so death should have come as a relief from pain.

But my heart is breaking because I fear that my father may not be with our Heavenly Father right now.  And it absolutely breaks my heart.  Not only did he suffer in life, but I'm afraid he is suffering in death.  And I can't look past that right now.  I know different religions have different beliefs about one's eternal destiny. Some believe in a waiting place, an opportunity for a second chance, until the final day of judgment when Christ returns. Some believe in Purgatory, which I honestly don't fully understand, but I think is also a waiting-type period for further purification before one can enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Some don't even believe in an eternal destiny, and believe that death on Earth is merely the end. Period.

I was taught that we have one chance, which is our life here on Earth to either choose Christ or not.  I know my dad accepted Christ as his Savior many many years ago.  Both his parents were pastors, who traveled around building and leading churches.  I remember sitting in a church during my grandpapa's funeral, listening to his life story and just being amazed at the ministry exemplified in his day to day life.  But I've always wondered about people who accept Christ as young adults, and then their lives start going down a different path.  I know God is a God of unfailing love and forgiveness, so does that mean that no matter what, we are still children of God?  It seems like such a silly question, because we know we do not get into the Kingdom based on our works, but rather our faith.  But, just a few weeks ago our pastor on Sunday taught from James 2, which lays out that faith without works is dead.  So, yes, your faith saves you, but it is still considered an empty faith if it is not accompanied by works.  Sigh.  And because of this, my heart is heavy for my dad.

I don't know my father's fate.  But I do know God forgives his children.  Obviously, we will always fail.  No matter how hard we try, we will always be broken and in need of God's mercy.  My uncle Jamie led my father's memorial service yesterday, and it was beautiful.  He spoke of God's faithfulness and how no matter how imperfect we are, He never let's go of His children.  We fail time and time again, and even when we lose our way, God takes our hand and guides us if we let him.  And this is my hope that I will hold onto for my dad, because I don't know the depths of my dad's heart.  I don't know if he had a moment of repentance, or how much he wrestled with God during his life.  But regardless of all that, I just hope God truly never let him go, and that on Monday He welcomed my dad into his healing arms where there is no more pain.

Obviously, there's a lot I don't know.  But what I DO know, is while I'm here on this Earth, I want to choose Christ, so that there's no doubt when I leave this Earth, I will be welcomed into His presence.  I want to hear those words, "well done, my good and faithful servant."

God's all-encompassing peace will surround us if we let it. And I could go back and forth a million times over the course of my life on whether or not I'll see my dad in Heaven.  But one day I'll know. And there will be no words to explain the joy I will feel to see his face, free from pain, standing with my Heavenly Father.

Daniel Benjamin Graves

October 18, 1957- March 7, 2011

"Come to me, all who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest."

Matthew 11:28